As adults, the closeness of parents to adolescent children becomes less. When I was a child I often told mom and dad, why is it uncomfortable now to confide in, huh?
Actually, what is the reason behind teenagers who find it difficult to confide in various things to their parents?
Reasons Why Youth Difficult to Confide in Parents
It is not without reason that teenagers rarely or never share stories with their parents. According to Ikhsan Bella Persada, M.Psi., A psychologist , this is generally caused by problems in relationships or parenting styles.
According to him, if you as a parent are too authoritarian or permissive towards your teenager, he is likely to feel uncomfortable and won’t confide in anymore.
“Parents who are authoritarian or permissive usually make their children reluctant to tell their parents. Because, when they tell stories, usually authoritarian parents tend to blame and force their will, “explained Ikhsan.
“If it is permissive, it is as if the child feels unappreciated because their parents tend to ignore their children. Parents may also not ask their children how they are doing everyday, ”he added.
In addition, parents who do not educate themselves to get used to telling stories to each other can also cause adolescents to become closed off.
“If parents usually tell stories about everyday events, children will also feel ‘Oh, Mama experienced this incident today’. Later, children will know that if there is an incident they will tell their parents, “said Ikhsan.
He also added that adolescents tend to be reluctant to confide in their parents because they feel more trustworthy and familiar with their peers, so they tell their friends more.
“If you tell peers, children will feel relate to the problems they are experiencing,” said Ikhsan.
What Is the Impact When Teens Lack of Communication with Their Parents?
Communication between children and parents is one of the most important things in family relationships.
If adolescents are not close and have difficulty confiding in their parents, this can be bad for both.
Ikhsan said, “Parents are less aware of the social developments that occur in children and what problems they are experiencing. Children get used to not having to tell their parents what is happening. “
Well , because of lack of communication and ultimately not understanding each other. This makes children and parents easily experience conflicts with each other. This is what cannot be tolerated.
“The conflict could be that children get angry more easily with their parents, uncomfortable at home, or become less close,” Ikhsan explained.
Tips for Smoother Communication between Teens and Parents
In order to maintain a warm relationship with a teenage child with his parents, there needs to be an effort from both parties. Here are some tips from Psychologist Ikhsan that you can apply.
- Make it a habit to start communicating with children and invite them to discussions. Try to understand what the child is thinking from his point of view.
- Ask about the child’s condition and feelings. This can show that you care and love your child.
- Try to do activities together between the child and the parents. You can make a schedule for watching movies together, cooking, and so on. This activity can build closeness and communication.
- For adolescents, it is better to understand before confiding, whether the story is because you want to get an answer or just heard it. So, if later the answers do not match expectations, the parents are not blamed.
Try to be more assertive, because parents need to know the conditions that are happening to their children.
So that your relationship with your teenager can be more harmonious, try to apply some of the tips above. Surely activities at home with the child will be more comfortable and fun!